Motherwise Cracks

My son actually came downstairs from the shower looking for soap. Score! A great deal of hard work lies ahead as I try to convey some basic hygiene principles for the remainder of 2007. My additional goals include conveying that: You must change your bed sheets at other times besides the change of the seasons [...]

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All the spices are all over the counter. If my kids’ efforts to help me get “organized” weren’t done in such earnest, I’d box some ears. It is sheer talent that keeps those spices and food colorings contained. Of course they can’t fit them in like I can. The same thing happens at the grocery [...]

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Now that spring sports have begun, my sport has been taking really long showers after practice. I hold dinner for all of us until he is done, but he takes so long. We are starving. Lest you think he is getting really clean, his sister noticed he has been out of shampoo for days – [...]

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Men don’t appreciate purses – either in function or style. This ongoing debate between the sexes at my house has been waging for years. Purses are superfluous, silly, a waste of shoulder space, too heavy, too expensive, too big, too trendy – basically al the things we women love about them. The wallet reigns supreme. [...]

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Designer Wannabes at Our Expense Who: Designer Wannabees with famous last names as credentials Why: Riding the coattails of your famous relative to instant designer status. Served: A summons to help at least one undiscovered designer who has to scratch and claw, find their way to the top. It’s only fair and just. Just do [...]

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Thank you, Coach, for being a wise man. So my son didn’t make the team but you are a genius. You pointed out one of his strengths – endurance – (not inherited from me, or my husband for that matter…) and suggested that he would be a real asset on the track team. Isn’t that [...]

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Out for dinner last night, we happened to be at the same restaurant as my son’s English teacher. Before she left she came over to our table and told us how much she enjoyed him in her class. (Big sighs from two adults.) That’s nice to hear and then she added, “Why don’t you have [...]

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Time is a Terrible Thing to Waste Constructive things to do while waiting for your child in your car to finish the practice they told you was over a half hour ago and you are bored stiff: Clean your glove compartment Clean your floor, seats, side door pockets Clean your purse Write grocery list Write [...]

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