Motherwise Cracks

We went to see Disney’s “The Game Plan” at the local drive-in this weekend. The little girl in the movie, who steals the show in my humble opinion, had a Bedazzler. While I don’t remember a thing about it, my eldest daughter said she always wanted one. (And of course, I didn’t get her one.) [...]

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Signs that you might be weird (as seen through your child’s eyes): You go to Open House at school You talk to your kids’ friends They actually like you and say you are “nice” You ask about their day and want to know how they are feeling, doing, etc. You like your offspring to be [...]

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I think Mom must have a June Cleaver fixation. She keeps giving me pearls, upon pearls, upon pearls. There aren’t enough necks around here for all these strands. This photo is minus the two strands I gave my daughters to reduce my pearl inventory after my last birthday. What is this pearl thing? As a [...]

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My camera captures some crazy moments (see here). I plan to relive them and laugh again when I am finally in the “home” in between crocheting doilies waiting for the prune juice to take effect. My scrapbook of memorable mothering moments (that my crafty daughter will have to make for me because I am too [...]

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Scene: (In the background, the hum of the bus approaching can be faintly heard. Teen-aged boy enters, stage left. A strong air of accusation surrounds him like Pigpen in Charlie Brown. Mother in robe shuffles to sink to clean up after packing boy’s lunch with love, tenderness and homemade brownies.) Boy: Where did you put [...]

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Working from home means there are times that a client has to come to your home, where they might see old bones hanging above you kitchen sink. Yes, a wishbone with drying meat clinging lifelessly to this grotesque leftover, quietly left to cure until it’s brittle enough to snap apart for good luck – a [...]

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There is a reason parents with children under age 18 ban permanent markers. Kids will inevitably mark up something that you consider permanent leaving an indelible reason you will have to replace it sooner than you’d planned. Like my cork board. Most people use a post it note or tack up a reminder. Not my [...]

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Vive le difference – if you live in France. If you live in my house you had better wash the lights with the lights and keep the darks to their own cycle. I have been preaching this to my choir for eons and have gotten a chorus of the dreaded eye roll and sidelong glance [...]

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