Scene: (In the background, the hum of the bus approaching can be faintly heard. Teen-aged boy enters, stage left. A strong air of accusation surrounds him like Pigpen in Charlie Brown. Mother in robe shuffles to sink to clean up after packing boy’s lunch with love, tenderness and homemade brownies.)
Boy: Where did you put my stuff?
Clueless: What stuff?
Boy: The stuff I had last night that YOU must have moved. Where did you put it?
Clueless: Huh?
Boy: Hurry up. The bus is coming and I need to know where you put my stuff.
Clueless: Look where you had it last. I didn’t touch it.
Boy: I had it in the car last night. You were in the car. Now the papers aren’t. You must have moved them.
Clueless: You were in the backseat. I was driving. I don’t have a clue what you did with your papers. Why are you even asking me? (Face wrinkles (additional ones) as dream bubble floats above her head as she imagines boy choking on homemade brownies. Bus honks outside.)
Boy: Now I’m late and I’ll get a “late” grade on my paper too. Thanks A LOT.
Clueless: (Remembers that she’s was late before too which resulted in her having three kids.) You’ll survive – BUT that’s only if you stop blaming ME and I find your backside moving toward the bus!
Have a nice freakin’ day! 
———-
“It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you place the blame.” ~ Oscar Wilde
6 responses so far ↓
1 Karen Vogel // Sep 25, 2007 at 9:12 am
Ooh, yeah – don’t you love how that sense of personal responsibility kicks in (not!)? I’ve been accused of losing my daughter’s money, her schoolbooks, you name it.
2 Clint Marker // Sep 25, 2007 at 9:55 am
Your conversation sounds just like the one I had with my 7 year old daughter when she could not find her library book that was already late.
3 Mary // Sep 25, 2007 at 8:53 pm
Yes, I love when they finally “find” the item and get amnesia about their prior accusations!
4 Dorky Dad // Sep 26, 2007 at 12:23 am
So did you find the stuff? What did he lose? I need to know! Don’t keep me in suspense, GAAAAAH!
5 Agnes Mildew // Sep 26, 2007 at 1:43 am
Why does this sound all too familiar? The blame culture was rampant in my household last night – because #1 daughter was having a hissy fit over ‘she said, he did’ and flew off the handle with Bonfire Night fireworks, I withdrew from the situation and then got blamed in the event of her getting an F in her maths…the mind boggles! It’s autumn…I just want to hibernate now…
6 Mary // Sep 26, 2007 at 7:03 am
Dear Dorky – the “lost and now found” item was an English paper that HE left at his sister’s place, that he swore he didn’t bring in, but obviously, he did. I found it on a chair there. I am still waiting for my apology but will settle for the grunt and muffled “thanks, Mom” I think I heard when I brought it home.
Ms Mildew – Yes, the blame culture. (That sounds like a lovely name for a band.) You must be very powerful to be able to make your daughter get an F in math! What I love is when the kids are having a hissy fit, the phone rings, it’s some boy and THEN…a magical transformation.