Celebrating today’s holiday humbugs:
- Finding out that people Googling for dirty stuff like my innocent post I Like Big Buts that was about Infomercials and the term “old sex” are getting me the most Internet traffic I’ve had in ages. Please – I am so rated G! I’m afraid if I write “Ho Ho Ho” they’ll be looking for Pam Anderson here.
- These same people who can’t even spell “butt” right when they Google for their dirty bits.
- Grumpy postal workers who should have medicated before going to work.
- These same workers talking to me through a mouthful of something left over from their Christmas lunch and getting crumbs on my packages. If I wanted crumbs on them, I’d have left them on the counter at home.
- Getting a call from the video store saying we owe big bucks because the kids didn’t return the movies they told me they did. (I think it was “It’s a Wonderful Life”. No kidding.)
- Men leaving their hard core tools in my exercise area. (Do they really need this to put up the Christmas tree?)
- Kids telling me today what they really want for Christmas.
- Kids calling me asking from the store what they should get for so-and-so and getting mad when I don’t know.
- Whoever is putting the butter back into the refrigerator when I’m trying to leave it out to soften it for baking.
- My taste testers complaining about the peanut butter cookies tasting terrible when they were S’mores cookies, not peanut butter.
- The extinction of tape and scissors in my house that coincides with each Christmas season.
- The extinction of the old-fashioned tree tinsel that wasn’t as thin as dental floss and was actually long enough to hang down.
- My daughter baking cookies with my ingredients that I am not allowed to eat. (For the boyfriend. If he knows what’s good for him, he’ll share when he gets here.)
- If I don’t find the chocolate soon – this child HID it so I wouldn’t eat it because she needs it for a recipe – I am really going to go Ebenezer.
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“Well, then, I’ll just swallow this and be tortured by a legion of hobgoblins, all of my own creation! It’s all HUMBUG, I tell you, HUMBUG!” ~ Ebenezer Scrooge
3 responses so far ↓
1 Karen Vogel // Dec 20, 2007 at 11:57 pm
The holidays bring out the best in all of us, no? But at least you have snow up there – that always helps my mood. And don’t worry – all that scissors and tape will show up on the 26th.
2 cheh // Dec 21, 2007 at 10:55 pm
It’s always a pleasure to visit you:)
Happy Christmas!
3 Rebecca // Dec 23, 2007 at 3:59 am
Oh your list sounds like this song I’d listen to on a tape my mom had when I was a kid. The cassette (that’s going to sound REALLY old WAY too soon – unless it does already) was called Twisted Christmas and the song was 12 Pains of Christmas. You should google it or look at my friends blog on her play list, http://www.christinesconnection.blogspot.com. There are a lot of funny songs on it. Merry Christmas & I hope the bf shares the cookies with you.