Motherwise Cracks

Twas the night before the night before Christmas, and to my lucky house,
All the cousins were hurrying to play Scattergories and get loud.
Their dirty boots were piled by the entrance stairs,
In hopes that the adults wouldn’t see them or care.

Two teams of kids were pitted against each other instead,
Laughing so hard at the time we usually go to bed.
And so I in my PJs, and Dad trying to nap,
Had just settled in to watch the Redskins and Viking’s first snap.

When out on there the counter, what I thought was a platter,
Upon close inspection I noticed was a more serious matter.
Away to the blasphemous object I flew like a flash,
And I shuddered in disbelief taking a great big gasp.

The light on the crest of the newly-fashioned hat,
gave luster to the the sacred objects that there sat.
When, what to my disbelieving eyes should appear,
But a miniature Nativity scene made of eight holy figurines.

With a good sense of humor, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be my nephew Rick.
More rapid than eagles his practical jokes do come,
Making us wonder if he could get any more dumb.

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When meet with an obstacle that makes me sigh,
Knowing with teenagers you can’t overreact it’s true,
So I asked myself, “What Would St. Nicholas Do?”

And then, in a twinkling, I came up with my own spoof.
Without prancing or pawing or looking aloof.
Using my head to turn this situation around,
I grabbed his holy sombrero without making a sound.

Carefully I replaced it where I had my Nativity set,
And I blended it in so well with mine that I made a bet,
That he wouldn’t notice and would look for it forever,
And he looked and looked while I sure felt clever.

My eyes-how they twinkled! My dimples how merry!
His cheeks were flushing red, his nose bent out of shape so clearly!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
As he begged me to return it when he wanted to go.

He gets grumpy when he’s tired, not his jolly old self,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of my eye and a twist of my head,
Soon gave him to know where I had it hid.

He sprang to his hat, then to his riders gave a whistle,
And away they all went laughing like five shrieking missiles.
Especially when they heard me exclaim, ‘ere they drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”