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20 Signs You’re Avoiding Your Annual Gyno Appointment

February 28th, 2008 · 11 Comments

  1. Intense and unnatural attention to laundry, vacuuming, ironing, dirty dishes, plants that need water
  2. Finally calling people on your “to call” list
  3. Avoidance behaviors toward the reminder letter from doctor’s office hanging on the fridge
  4. Compelling need to write out weekly, monthly and quarterly “to do” lists
  5. Actually watching “Must See” TV shows – avoiding medical shows
  6. Home cooked meals where you actually follow the recipes
  7. The need to Googled obscure facts to settle arguments and/or pass the time
  8. Starting arguments so that you will need to Google something
  9. Uncontrollable need to find the lost socks collecting in your sock drawer
  10. Sanitization of the inside and outside of microwave oven, convection oven, outdoor grill
  11. Sewing the items that have been laying around waiting for your needle and thread for months
  12. Attempt(s) to balance the checkbook
  13. You look for the prescription for the mammogram the doctor gave you last year that you haven’t had yet
  14. You find it interesting and appropriate there are two “m”s in mammogram
  15. The birthday list is prepared for your birthday – next year
  16. Dust removal from areas on and around the computer
  17. Sorting out and disposal of all old catalogs
  18. You decide it might be time to shave your legs (even though it’s mid-winter)
  19. The organization of drawers becomes a favorite way to spend time
  20. Napping because avoidance is very tiring
    As of today, my house is clean, I have matching socks, I got some extra sleep, my drawers are neat, the oven is sparkling, the kids dust allergies have subsided, my future activities are all mapped out, and there are some good leftovers. If I put this off any longer, I may have to move on to someone else’s house. I am giving it some serious consideration.

    —–

    “A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.”  ~ Carrie P. Snow

    —–

Tags: Pet Peeves

11 responses so far ↓

  • 1 angelawd // Feb 28, 2008 at 10:45 am

    Well, at least your legs will be shaved when you get to the pelvic exam part!

  • 2 Mary // Feb 28, 2008 at 10:47 am

    Yes, that was my motivation. (No Brazilian binkini waxing is in my future, however.)

  • 3 Becky // Feb 28, 2008 at 11:25 am

    Be thankful the house is clean, the kids won’t be sneezing and your legs will be nice and smooth when you finally go in:)
    I am the same way.

  • 4 Angela // Feb 28, 2008 at 7:23 pm

    Dude? Aren’t there 4 m’s in mammogram? Just sayin’…

  • 5 Mary // Feb 28, 2008 at 8:26 pm

    Angela – oops, I meant 2 m’s right next to each other (2 humps ).

  • 6 dorky dad // Feb 29, 2008 at 1:45 am

    You know, I’ve been avoiding the gyno for like 37 years now.

  • 7 Mary // Feb 29, 2008 at 9:56 am

    dorky – My guess is you have never shaved your legs either.

  • 8 The Mom Bomb // Feb 29, 2008 at 11:48 am

    I relate. Every item on your list sounds better than a cold speculum you-know-where or getting the girls mashed in a mammogram.

  • 9 Kalynne Pudner // Feb 29, 2008 at 1:05 pm

    My house! My house next! Please!! (One look at my kitchen — never mind about the drawers — and I promise you’ll have your GYN’s receptionist on the phone, a huge smile of relief on your face.)

  • 10 Jennifer H // Feb 29, 2008 at 3:09 pm

    No, pick mine, pick mine! You don’t even have to clean it all. We could just hang out and watch must-see TV. I’m a pro at avoidance.

    Thanks for stopping by my and for leaving a comment! Can’t wait to read more of yours…

  • 11 jill // Mar 3, 2008 at 10:31 pm

    Hey, I breastfed my youngest until he was 2 and a half just so I could avoid having a mammogram.
    Now that’s avoidance.

    If you really need something to clean, come on over to my house. We’re cleaning out our storage room and kid’s closets.

    Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog!
    Jill