Motherwise Cracks

I really don’t care what is cool or what is trendy, if it highlights my kids’ parts in a sexy fashion, it’s something they will have to do when they are on their own. Perhaps it is because in my mind a belly ring is way too sexy for my teenager or perhaps because I have an aversion to multiple body piercings. I did let my daughter pierce her tragus, (see illustration to clarify which part of the ear needs decoration) which I thought was kind of progressive for me.

And when she asked me to bend my “one body part to be pierced while you live under my roof” for the earrings she wanted to wear for the prom, I begrudgingly lovingly gave up some ground and let her have 3 holes in her ears which is more than enough. (Prom time is so emotional. She was emotional about it too.)
I just found out that 5 (FIVE!) years ago, my now 20-year-old daughter had her naval pierced – and I never knew. I am a woman who prides herself on knowing my kids very well. I was stunned, like an elephant ready to charge suddenly hit with a tranquilizer gun, my jaw dropped, and to all of our great astonishment, no words came out of it.

What did I do? I cried. In retrospect, it was awesome. I couldn’t have created more guilt for my daughter if I was both Catholic and Jewish. It was genius.
Oh, some of belly rings are so cute. They would make great earrings, which is the place I don’t have a problem poking a hole into and/or drawing attention to. It’s the fixations below the belt that I don’t think are wholesome. Called me old-fashioned – any day.

Home on a break from college, she got sloppy and bedazzled her belly button wearing a thin shirt. Yeah, that didn’t get by me and then the waterworks began. First me (silently, very ladylike) and then her, sobbing to beat the band (from the Naval Academy, of course) full of regret, begging for forgiveness, sorrowing over her former foolishness. I must have tried to cut her off about 5 times, saying, “What’s done is pierced” or “It’s water under the tragus now” but she persisted. It was humbling. For her. And I enjoyed it.

She said that at the time, she actually wanted me to find out as she was going through a rebellious stage and wanted a fight. (Score – I got her again.) We’re done now until someone foolishly slips the words “pierced” or “belly button” into the conversation and she starts gushing apologies again. Not me. I am above that.

I had best get dinner started now. Boneless pork belly takes a while to cook if you want it real tender. (Obviously I am not Jewish.)
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“Guilt is the price we pay willingly for doing what we are going to do anyway.” ~ Isabelle Holland