Motherwise Cracks

Last night, I drove over the curb going into a Subway for a late dinner. It was late and I was new surroundings and that is my excuse. After I drove over and felt the first “thump” of the car over the curb, I began to hear voices.

Yes, the voices at first sounded like those of concern and a were a bit scared, something like, “Mommy, are we okay?” “Did we do something wrong?”

Then the voices started to change into a bit older sounding children and I heard, “Mom. What are you doing?” and then I distinctly heard, “You didn’t see that? What are you, blind?”

I heard the last voices from my radio-from-the-past when the back tires crossed over the curb and it was all over with. These were just snickers and snorts with a more adult-like older sound. I think I heard some eyes rolling too but you have to listen very carefully for that.

All the voices were familiar and were playing through my head because I was without any kids to provide the real thing so my subconscious helped me out and filled in the blanks.  And I did all this in the eyes of the law.

Yes, I did and it was of more concern to me that I decided to do such a maneuver at a Subway with 2 (yes, TWO) police cars parked in front of it and the two officers of the law sitting there watching the whole thing. My friend told me to sit in the car for a while and see what they would do. I said, “Naw. I am going in and hitting it head on.” (She did laugh at my choice of words putting me in a good frame of mind to pull it off.) I went in and said boldy, “So, how do you like my driving?” Thankfully, they smiled.

Yes, they did see me and wondered if I had been drinking. I assured them that I had not and we giggled as the clerk told us they were closed for business. We headed out, me still a little shaky about performing my curb jumping in front of 2 cops, and don’t you know I don’t see the red light in front of the Subway until the last minute? I jerked to a stop and then, when the light was green, did a quick turn into the McDonald’s on the other side of the street where I mistakenly headed into a handicapped spot (and I heard voiced once again, “Yeah – this spot is perfect for you” from some sniveling little teenager in my head) and hoped the officers were still deeply engaged in their footlong and soda beverages. It wasn’t until after the second bag of fries that I calmed down.

I do wonder how long I will continue to hear voices? Only time will tell. I sure as hell am not going to.

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“Your mind knows only some things. Your inner voice, your instinct, knows everything. If you listen to what you know instinctively, it will always lead you down the right path.”  ~ Henry Winkler