Free samples. Never met one I didn’t like. As all good advertisers know, the word free sets off an internal human magnet that is uncontrollable. Free food samples at Sam’s Club are my favorites, especially when the old ladies are working the free sample table. Between their poor eyesight and dementia, it’s about 60 second wait until they forget you and you can go back for seconds, thirds, etc. If they are younger, you have to add the inconvenience of the time it takes to remove your coat and put your hair in a pony tail in between visits. If you have reading glasses, they can come in handy too.
This weekend will be the mother of all good freebie visits. We are doing a wine tour. You visit all these places and they give you samples of wine in hopes that you buy some. I have all my lines down for maximum freebie capacity. Things like, “Can I have one more taste of that? My palate wasn’t quite clean” or “I am almost ready to purchase this but I need one more taste to make my decision.”
This procedure is most effective when the person behind the tasting bar is very busy so that you can make a quick exit before any actual purchase. I wait for a bus of red hat ladies on their weekend outing to arrive. Nothing like a group of menopausal women to provide adequate cover. When the kids were little, their crying and screaming worked pretty well, and a pre-teen hissy fit also did they trick, but they have grown up. Now they request payment for providing such diversions. At first I thought about paying them but realized that made me a free sample whore. I rather just spend my money on the bottle of wine at this point.
Anyway, this should be a happy weekend as we go from winery to winery and I am looking forward to it very much. I hope I last past the first two stops.
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“Of course I’m respectable. I’m old. Politicians, ugly buildings, and whores all get respectable if they last long enough.” ~ Robert Towne
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3 responses so far ↓
1 Serg // Mar 6, 2010 at 1:46 pm
http://www.studioflorist.com
Thank you very much for the Tips with fresh flowers presented on your site! I did as it is written there and the flowers that my beloved presented me are still alive! And besides now I know the meaning of all the flowers! And I am even thinking of becoming a florist myself! Thank you, studioflorist.com!
2 Mid Life Spin // Mar 12, 2010 at 12:25 pm
My kids love the Sam’s ladies!! Plus they keep them busy for me so I cna shop. I have done these tasting tours as well, the problem I always have is why can;t there be more? I like your site it’s really funny.
3 Leigh // Mar 12, 2010 at 3:32 pm
Sam’s Club is the BEST place for freebies. I have to admit, I am a free sample whore myself – and proud of it! Have a good time on your tour!
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