Motherwise Cracks

Yes, the start of football season and the prayers are offered up by mom’s afraid of hospital visits all over the country. I have felt your pain. And I see your increased traffic to my blog post “The Cowardly Mom’s Football Prayer“.

Here it is but you can click the link and download a very nice looking copy to keep in your purse and read at halftime.

Dear Lord and Protector, watch over my son,

As he takes his lickins’ since football

has begun. Now that it’s the end of the practice season,

I confess I am guilty of football mom treason.

On this eve of the first game, I am afraid that I dread,

Any playtime at all for my son, and with that said,

I hope he gets in, but for only a few minutes,

Because after an hour or so I get tired of fake grinning.

I want the team to do well, but could do without the bruises,

And that goes double for concussions and contusions.

My idea of a good game and a good season,

Is one where we don’t need a doctor, nurse or any EMTs in.

Oh why do they park that ambulance where I can see it?

Don’t they know it causes pain, nerve wracking and diarrhea?

I want the stretcher ready but completely out of sight,

So that I can keep injury out of mind until the end of the night.

Of course I have to be present at every game,

Calling on the angels and saints of every name.

Breathing heavy sighs of relief at the end of each quarter,

And with each tick of the clock, wishing that they were shorter.

Forgive me my stance, which is to pray,

That he doesn’t get in for most of the plays.

His prayer isn‘t the same, he wants to get in,

So we are on opposing sides, and I want to win.

And if he does get in, please make it quick,

And send the play far away because I feel kind of sick.

All that pushing, shoving and tackling can make a mom go crazy,

And wish that her child were perhaps, just a tad fat and lazy?

Even though he’s bigger and has more muscle than me,

My job is to worry and from what I can see,

Football is a wrinkle-maker and hearing hits way up in the stands,

Hasn’t done wonders for my husband, as I dig my nails into his hands.

Lord, be with me and all the moms throughout this night,

And be with all the kids during this game that closely resembles a fight.

Keep it injury free and let them have their fun,

Because I am no Vince Lombardi when it’s all said and done.

I will make it easy for you to download a complimentary copy here of the Cowardly Mom’s Football Prayer that I wrote during a very stressful football season after one concussion and various other scares involving limbs and bodily fluids that I would rather not remember.

But high school is over and I did survive, as did my son, and now those worrisome days have been pushed to the sidelines where only pick up games played with no equipment in the dark with friends with no adult supervision with older adults who may have had a beer or two prior to playing, are the only thing I contend with. So you see, I am without any worry about injury whatsoever now. It’s a great feeling.

Seriously, if you are worried, I hope the season flies by and your child stays healthy. Enjoy the fruits of my worry expressed through prose in this little beauty of a prayer/poem guaranteed to make any of my former English teacher’s pity how I wasted my talents all these years.

—-

“You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four.”  ~ Dan Birdwell