How does this happen that I am here watching a cat and they are sipping wine in Sonoma? I am not sure, but as soon as I write the check for my son’s next semester at college, I will take some time to try to figure it out. I think it might have something to do with the decision I made some thirty years ago to have these vacationing children, but my original thought process is getting fuzzy in my old age.

Staying home to raise the children was a fulfilling job. I was a tad saddened to learn this week that this experience precludes me from advising my husband on any matters of state should he decide to run for President.

Funny thing is that parenting involves very high level decision making skills with serious consequences.

Think about it. How many wars have you prevented? How many strikes and work stoppages have you settled? How many arguments have you been an arbitrator for? How many budgets have you balanced and how much self control have you had in order to do so? And scheduling? Being in two places, as close to one time as possible without the luxury of Air Force One, happens all the time. Executive decisions are made and enforced – hourly. A decision is a decision, and good judgement is good judgement no matter what the topic.

But now it is time to feed the cat from hell. Will it be turkey or liver? Decisions, decisions.

At the time, I was embarrassed of the way I looked in it because I was heavier than usual due to being seven months pregnant. Through the years, it magically made me look thinner and thinner to where I actually preferred it to the real thing. It was only the 90s permed hair that made me decide to go for the re-take. Ugh. It left me wishing for the ability to Photoshop my official NYS photo like I do for family portraits. At least I have good hair now.

My guess is that though the next set of years, I will gradually go though the same process and this photo will actually surpass my “good looks” (relatively speaking) and I will grow to prefer it.

But for now, my consolation is in getting mistaken for a friend of my daughters’ and not their mother. Still happens and while it should give me joy that this could possibly happen, the part I REALLY love is how much they hate it when it happens.

There is a trick involved in getting mistaken in this way. It involves alcohol consumption and dim lighting.

I was asked to watch two little ones, ages 6 and 3, for an overnight and suddenly, all my energy has been drained, mysteriously zapped at the very thought of chasing someone in single digits (but thankfully not diapers) around.

The good news is that they will be here in the late afternoon and bedtime is 8:30. We have the pool and trampoline up as I intend to wear them out with all kinds of strenuous physical activity that I can watch them perform. Then I will plop them in front of the TV and let Disney do its magic. Yep, that’s how I plan to rule my kingdom this weekend. And no sugary foods until about 10 AM the next morning as they are getting picked up at 11.

The girls will be attending church with us so I will have to pack up some entertainment. I think my iTouch with a dual headset playing Dora the Explorer or some Hannah Montana out to do. (I just need to keep them away from my episodes of The Family Guy.) I was a tad worried that someone would think electronics in church would be in bad taste, so I am contemplating a wireless headphone purchase. I may decide to go the Cheerios, raisins, book, crayons and Saint of the Day coloring book – who knows.

It should be fun. And a good reminder that I am not of childbearing age anymore. As if I needed one.

—–

“Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.”  ~Fran Lebowitz

This $50 Marshall’s gift card I have had since Christmas is burning a whole in my pocket so I made a date with the kids to shop. Of course that means I will be footing the bill for dinner but such is life.

I can’t decide if I should use the card on sale winter clothing items or for some new, fresh spring thing. I also just ran out of wrinkle cream and need that too.

I love getting creams at Marshall’s because it’s like a treasure hunt. You have to hunt and dig your way through last year’s expensive products for this year’s deals. Some creams and things I have never heard of but I look at the original price with the reduced price on top of it and think, “sucker”, and I feel better instantly. Probably not good for the laugh lines but as I age my eyes are getting worse so it kind of works out.

Shoes are always a good thing to look at too. You never feel fat in shoes. Or watches for that matter. I go right to the really reduced shelves. It’s gotten to the point that I just can’t get myself to buy anything full price now. It’s like a sickness – that I can live with. I think it’s my competitive spirit. I will get that item for as close to or below cost as possible or I won’t get it at all. I’m sticking it to the marketing man.

My one weakness? Electronics. I used to hide my chocolate stash. Now I hide my electronics purchases. I think I might give up buying any more of them for Lent.

—-

“Those have a short Lent, who owe money to be paid at Easter.”  ~ Benjamin Franklin

Ah, if it were just as easy to fix some other droopy things…

But onward to make more items to archive on my blog. (Don’t think I have the nerve for the type of cosmetic enhancements these ladies opted for.)

Picked my son up at school and found out my daughter passed the second of four tests required for her CPA exam. This will truly be a good Thanksgiving in that regard because if she would not have passed, well. It wouldn’t have been pretty. Maybe there is a God.

Son has a full Jesus beard. I scheduled an electrolysis appointment for myself for this afternoon so there will be no mistaking us over the candle light at dinner.

Daughter #1 will be home later today, complete with her cat that she can’t seem to be able to leave alone. I shudder to think about the overprotective genes I passed on to her, and how they will exhibit themselves when she has a human child.

Today, in addition to my hair removal experience, I plan to be/look very busy so they will clean the house for me. The only downside to that is how much I will hear about the size of the cobwebs, thickness of dust, degree of bathtub scum incrustation, etc. Perhaps my busyness should involve trips to the store?

Happy Thanksgiving to all and may my turkey be all defrosted when it’s time to take the innards out of the cavity. Can anyone tell me why in the heck they put them in there? Does anyone use them for anything anymore?

—-

“A woman voting for divorce is like a turkey voting for Christmas.”  ~ Alice Glynn

If you have kids, Leave It To Beaver, Marcus Welby MD are on earlier in the day and let’s not forget the lively and gregarious Joe Friday throwing out his Dragnet in old-time LA.

My latest NetFlix – On the Waterfront with Marlon “I could have been a contender and get met the butter” Brando. Very good watching material and proof that you can still wonder about the size of Karl Malden’s nose. This weekend it’s Twelve Angry Men. Well, maybe. My family is all here to attend a Buffalo Bills game on Sunday and I might have more than twelve of them – live in my living room.