Today was my daughter’s birthday and it was the first one that she was not home for as she is now a working girl. By chance, her sister happened to be traveling to her town, so they had a birthday celebration without me – without the rest of us – but mostly me.
Sad at not being there for this special day, I called to wish a happy birthday and got a rowdy group of revelers.
My legs in the stirrups for 18 hours, Google map-like legs of varicose veins, a ton of baby weight to lose (that I am still working on), specially decorated cakes in the shape of Hello Kitty, Sesame Street animals or some round comic book Japanese creature over the last 22 years and I am history. Suddenly I longed for the days of reserving McDonald’s for a party, which I did after hosting one party at my home for 16 six-year-olds that I regretted 15 minutes into the 2 hour-long ( eternity) gig.
So she did have a happy birthday, which is what I was calling to wish her. And I am glad she had a good day with friends and some family. I just wish I could have been there too. I really need a piece of cake.
“Believing hear, what you deserve to hear:
Your birthday as my own to me is dear…
But yours gives most; for mine did only lend
Me to the world; yours gave to me a friend.”
Daughter #2 graduated from college this past Saturday (and the most boring speaker talked forever about quantum blah-blah for nearly 40 minutes and she was a journalist/television personality on Fox News who should have had a much better speech. I formally offer to edit/write her next speech if she should like to contact me. I am sure I can do a much better job than what she read…and read…and read…)
I only cried once at my daughter’s graduation. I wanted to cry at this woman’s speech but then some lively little Bishop from New Mexico spoke and was delightful and I snapped out of it. Praise the Lord!
The tears all started when daughter #2 opened a set of Pyrex bowls. Yes, she burst into tears herself at the thought of being at the stage in her life that she would get a set of Pyrex bowls. That set off my watershed event and it took 2 pieces of cake to bring me back to sobriety. Maybe it was the 4 glasses of Merlot I had with lunch talking, but I started laughing that it took Pyrex to bring us both to tears. Hey Corning – are you happy?
The good news is that she will be home for about 3 months before she starts her new job and I can have her all to myself. The bad news is that this bonding time will make it even worse when she finally leaves home for what will be her real step out into the world of her own. After that, it will never be the same at home. (Who am I kidding? The first day a college is when that really begins?) I will be sniffing then. I have always been excellent at avoidance so those thoughts of summer’s end and job beginning have been banished, and I will be living in the moment until some time in September (the exact date of which I am not sure and I don’t want to know right now. That’s how that avoidance thing works for you newbies.)
So I get a thank you card from her in the mail today. She mailed it to us from our own house. (Used my stamps.) And it is so sweet I am a teary-eyed at her touching prose, and then I read the end. And I quote, “I love you very much and you are great parents. I guess this means a very nice 4 star nursing home for both of you.”
Thanks, but it’s not quite my time yet.
To everything there is a season,
a time for every purpose under the sun.
A time to be born and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
a time to kill and a time to heal …
a time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance …
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to lose and a time to seek;
a time to rend and a time to sew;
a time to keep silent and a time to speak;
a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace.
Sometimes you just have to laugh. It scares the neighbors a lot less than screaming.
We had arranged for my daughter to purchase my husband’s car at a special price when we got a new one. It has airbags – very important, as she has had a few fender benders.
He gave her such a deal, but after a while, she thought that perhaps she could do better. Thank God for Kelly Blue Book. She started second guessing the deal she was getting until we sent her online to do some research. She found out that she was getting a GREAT deal and changed her tune.
Sometimes I don’t know why kids second guess us. Like we’d rip them off? Imagine her flush of color and gushing of appreciation when she discovered how her loving father does math. I let her suffer in shame for a while – silence is golden.
(It all worked out for me. I got the new car and it gets about 38 miles per gallon. I think it can fit under an 18-wheeler too.)
“What the average man wants to get out of his new car is the kids.” ~ Anonymous
I took the girls to see Wicked today. The ticket for my one daughter was part of her birthday present. The play was very good, better than I expected and we ate afterwards. It was a very enjoyable day and we even lucked out getting a primo parking spot in Buffalo. Some guy actually signaled us into a free spot right in front of the theater. Saved me about $10. I let my oldest drive there and back as she knows everything and if I make one wrong turn she is all over me. Good move on my part.
We ate after and I spilled something on my favorite shirt (it is favorite because it was clean and it fit) and the girls started to laugh but it was quelled when I noticed falafel crumbs on my other daugher’s shirt. Thank God my eyes are still good.
When I got home, my son had been to a graduation party and then off to a friend’s house for a few hours. He came home, showered and then promptly asked if he could to go to another friend’s house to spend the night. I said, “No.” He hasn’t found a summer job yet and he needs to look again tomorrow, we have already met our weekend drive-kids-all-over-hell quota and he needs to make some phone calls for a fundraiser he is planning. My luck ran out there. He was less than understanding and reminded me of the winged monkeys flapping his arms around while trying to explain why it’s not fair that he can’t go out again.
I am feeling very Elphaba right now – and I am good with that. You can’t be Glinda everday.
â€œA woman may be as wicked as she likes, but if she isn’t pretty it won’t do her much goodâ€ ~ William Somerset Maugham