First of all, I hate mumbling. That’s what I got on the answering machine – my son mumbling on not just one message, no. He left two consecutive rambling mumblings. Seems he lost his notebook.
Couldn’t find his notebook that he insisted is on the living room floor. Here I set on that very living room floor, and there is no book. I am not freaking blind. There is no spiral notebook. He tells me to look again. Calls me the next day to see if I finally found it, like it is an inevitability. I take another sip of wine and pray to St. Anthony, the saint for lost causes, that he gets lost – real soon.
See this picture of St. Anthony? He is the saint we pray to when things are lost. The little babe is telling him that the notebook is right there in front of his eyes and he is too blind to see it. That’s where they get the lines for the song Amazing Grace – “T’was lost but now I see” come from.
If I happen to find that notebook that he insists is here, somewhere in plain sight that somehow I can’t see, I am going to eat my hat.
St. Anthony must have had to eat his hat too from what I can tell from this depiction. I wonder if anyone makes chocolate hats?
I wonder who the Saint of Holding Your Tongue is?
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.” ~ Winston Churchill
I lost my keys between Saturday afternoon and Monday morning. That’s pretty amazing considering they weight about 5 pounds and can displace 1/2 cup of water in sheer volume.
My husband was chiding me, making me feel inferior for always misplacing things like he is so perfect. Yes, the guy who can’t match his shirts to his pants or figure out that you can start the roast beef cooking before you make the dinner salad was giving me a hard time.
I believe in the power of the Saints because when I was praying to St. Anthony to help me find what was lost after I had gone through the stinky garbage can to no avail, I was divinely inspired to look in my husband’s top drawer. He keeps his keys there.
Amazing! MY KEYS! He mistakenly put my keys in his drawer and had the nerve to mock me?
Sweet Providence. I’ve got the upper hand all locked up now.
“I once was lost but now I’m found. Was blind but now I see.“ ~ Amazing Grace
I had to drive my son to an overnight event that was about 50 miles away yesterday. I Mapquested the directions and my husband lent me his GPS unit so I thought I was pretty safe. Hmm.
I decided to take a shortcut and unwittingly threw the Mapquest directions off. No problem, I thought, I will just turn on the GPS unit. Of course we were starting to run late due to my shortcut and I got a little testy with my son in my panic.
Wouldn’t you know that the stupid GPS unit wasn’t able to access a satellite off and on the whole way there. Miraculously, it would turn on just before an important turn and then go out of range again. My son mentioned that it was like someone up above wanted us (me) to know they were in control. (He is the diplomatic one in his old age, but he didn’t fool me. He was preaching. I hate when 17-year-olds preach, especially when they are exactly right. Damn!) Now if he’d just clean his room, remember to wash his face before bed and not take dirty socks out of the laundry to wear instead of doing his laundry, I would be everlastingly happy.
We did get there but I couldn’t help feel bad about my “episode of lost” as I was not going to see him for a couple of days. Gave me something to think about on the way home. On my return trip, I took one wrong turn but quickly corrected myself and got back home in good time. I wish the rest was that easy.
“Humility is to make a right estimate of one’s self.” Â ~Charles Haddon Spurgeon